It’s that time again where I need to go to bed but I can make my mind quiet down for sleep. So much traffic zipping by. Zig zagging its way around in there…constant always constant.
Where to begin…. It’s difficult to really pinpoint where this sadness is coming from. It can be from her or from her…or from her.
So much disappointment, always a disappointment. I need to get better at this while thing. It’s going to keep happening and I won’t be able to always crawl away and hide in my favorite space. Half the time i make no sense…all the words and thoughts just clash and there is no way to piece it back together. Kind of like my heart… It’s been bandaged for a long time…still has more time before it is revived. That’s the saddest story told.
We struggle to realize that it’s us that holds us from removing the bandages. The heart heals if we allow it to…but I guess I am comfortable in pain in misery. Like to keep it close to me. Makes me feel safe…
I guess..that’s the only explanation I seem to have come up with…am I wrong?
Getting sleepy now…guess it’s bedtime…nitey nite.